To procrastinate: to delay or postpone an action; to put off doing something.
Why do we do it? Or more to the point, why do I do it?
Like, I suspect, most people I put off doing things I think will be unpleasant or difficult or that I just don’t want to do. But that doesn’t explain why I put off doing something that I find interesting and do want to do. It’s something I’m aware of having done all my life, in school, at work and in my personal life. I wish I didn’t do it, but it’s really difficult to stop.
I should be weaving; in particular I should be working on something for an exhibition in November. I’m excited about the piece I’m going to weave. I’ve planned what it will be, the colours, how to weave it, the finishing I’ll have to do to let it say what it needs to. I’ve been doing that for weeks. And yet it’s still not done, not even started physically. I want to do it and am looking forward to it being done, but so far that hasn’t pushed me into getting any further than planning.
In this case I think the fact that the deadline seems a long way off may not help, but that’s an illusion. The exhibition is in November, but the deadline for producing finished pieces is a lot nearer, almost now!
Also, there’s other stuff I want to do, some of which seems more enticing, but I haven’t done any of that either. I can’t let myself do any other weaving because my inner monologue insists that the exhibition piece has to come first. So for the last two months – all of May and June – I’ve done no weaving – not the pieces I want to weave nor the piece I should be weaving.
What I have done is tidy the drawers in the kitchen, work on the garden, sort yarns and get rid of stuff I no longer want, even dusting and vacuuming. All the time worrying about the weaving I haven’t done.
And now of course instead of getting down to any weaving I’m writing about why I’m not doing it! It’s frustrating, it drives me mad and it’s very stressful. And yet still I procrastinate.
If anyone has a cure could you let me know.
And please, don’t put it off.